Fan Fiction

From being continuously annoyed by his neighbors, this cephalopod was put in an inescapable bad mood. Running around Squidward’s front yard all day, caused Squidward to become irritated to the point where he could no longer stand the sound of anyone's voice.

“Would you infernal brains just SHUT UP,” complained Squidward.

Day after day, all Squidward wanted was to live far, far away from Spongebob and Patrick. He wishes to live fancily and to be able to peacefully work on his art and music. Unfortunately, that is not possible with Spongebob and Patrick around.

“Hahahahaha,” echoed Spongebob and Patrick.

Miffed and peeved, Squidward stormed outside to show his disrespectful neighbors a piece of his mind. Knowing how immature Patrick and Spongebob are, Squidward knew it would never work, but he always tried hoping one day it would finally work.

After marching outside, Squidward admitted, “being dead, or anything else, would be better than having to listen to you two all day.”

“Sorry Squidward, we were just playing around,” explained Spongebob.

‘“Can I have everybody’s attention… I have to use the bathroom,” babbled Patrick.

An irritable cephalopod is not a happy cephalopod. After a long argument, or just Squidward yelling and then Spongebob and Patrick not comprehending his anger, nothing was resolved. Squidward angrily stormed back inside only to find a old looking lamp. He was shocked to find such beautiful artwork in his house. The water began to swirl. Everything around him was lifting into the water. Everything went black.

Confused and scared, Squidward gained consciousness. He was not sure how much time has passed, or where he was. After opening his eyes, Squidward realized he was in a pineapple. Who is the only person he knows near him to live in a pineapple? Spongebob. Just the thought of being in the dwelling of this fiend made Squidward want to puke. His immediate reaction: Get up and get out.

Squidward heard someone behind him with a high pitched squeaky voice giggle.“hey Squiddy!” Terrified that he might see porous Spongebob, Squidward turned his head to only see another cephalopod. He might as well have been looking in a mirror, but he wasn't looking in a mirror, he was looking at himself. He was looking at his own body. He looked down. He saw a square and yellow body. Squidward and Spongebob had switched bodies.

“AHHHH,” roared Squidward as he raced outside.

“This is so exciting! Me and Squidward switched bodies,” explained Spongebob to Patrick

“You’re in Squidward’s body? No wonder you smell bad,” claimed Patrick.

“This is the worst day of my life,” revealed Squidward.

“ Cheer up, Squidward! It could be worse!”

“Ya, you could be bald or have a big nose,” explained Patrick

“Don’t you have somewhere else to be stupid Patrick,” asked Squidward.

“Not until four,” answered Patrick.

Contemplating what to do, Squidward basically had a panic attack. If he could not stand being around his neighbors, how could he be inside his body? They needed to come up with a way for them to switch back. Why did this happen? How could the switch back? Squidward needed to be switched back so he could be ready for his clarinet recital at eight. It was currently four. They had four hours to switch back. Squidward thought that if they were fighting when the switch happened, they needed to learn to cope with their differences and learn to respect each other to switch back.   

“I find it really disrespectful when you ruin my yard, when you both have your own yards to ruin,” admitted Squidward.

“I love playing in your yard though, its like the gateway to your soul,” replied Spongebob.

“You’re already in my body, what other gateway to my soul do you need,” asked Squidward, “ok are we switched back yet?”

“Maybe we need to get to know each other better,” suggested Spongebob, “I love working at the krusty krab and i am a master at kara-tay,” said Spongebob as he did a karate chop.

“I like when you don’t bother me,” barked Squidward, “this is not working.”

“We’re not doing so well, Patrick. We need a new approach, a new tactic,” advised Spongebob.

“Umm, I got it. Let’s get naked,” suggested Patrick.

Humor and Satire

Just your presence,

I can not bare.

When I see your face,

it sets off a flare.

You make me want to

throw myself down a flight of stairs.

Oh, I don’t understand

why you don’t care.

It’s like your brain cells,

which are oh so rare,

don’t know a thing.

They are so unaware.

And I know you might ask,

but no, we are not pears.

So have a nice life,

and take care.

List Poem

Don't be like everyone else,
be original.
Everyone has the same clothes, the same style,
but you can be different.
When they tell you to be yourself,
they don't mean it.
Friends make you feel good about yourself,
they build you up.
Those who want to change you,
aren't your friends.
Those who don't want you for you,
aren't your friends.
Those who build up your confidence,
just to tear it down again,
aren't your friends.
They aren't your friends.

Questionable Motive Poem

A guitar and the strings                              So listen to my plea                                  

making music as one                                  this isn't a decoy

for nothing but joy                                      the song has just begun

all you have to do is follow me                  we could do incredible things

Our hearts will sing                                    A guitar and the strings

it’s so much fun                                          making music as one

making music with you, boy                      for nothing but joy

it’s like I’ve been set free                           all you have to do is follow me.

Stanza

Clear, blue water
or a deep dark mystery;
smooth,
or a terrifying storm.
It consumes you,
it keeps you going,
but it is you.
You are trapped,
you trapped yourself.

Poem

Poem 1:

The sun will set on a perfect day,
You know it’s coming.
Sometimes you’ll know when,
Or not.
You make this an event,
The setting of the sun.
You go watch this with your friends and
Family
As the sun lowers itself over the horizon
Yet, the sun never leaves
Its warmth is always present
Its light is reflecting off of the moon
It’s always watching, sometimes
You just can’t see it.

Metacognitive Evaluation: The poem has a good universal meaning and lots of potential. Although there is a good universal meaning, there are not many obvious connections to the real meaning. I need to make more connections and make the universal idea more apparent.

Poem 2:

The sun will set on a perfect day,
You know the day will always end.
Sometimes though, it happens so suddenly.
We make a big deal of this.
Having an event for the setting of the sun
Creates sorrow and misery
The departing of us from the sun
You attend this with friends, family, and strangers.
The sun is lowered down into the horizon
Yet the sun never truly dies
Its warmth is always present,
Its wisdom reflecting off the moon.
Its always watching,
Sometimes, you just cant see it
But you can feel it

Metacognitive Evaluation: The poem has a good universal evaluation and it is portrayed well. The language and diction is weak. The poem also seems very sentencey and I should think about punctuation and stanzas.  

Poem 3:

The sun will descend on what may be a perfect day

but you know the day must always end
sometimes its sudden
we make a big deal
creating scenes of sorrow and grief
the departing of the sun from us
is attended with family friends and strangers
the sun is lowered down into the horizon
but the sun never truly dies
its warmth is always present
its wisdom reflecting off the moon
always watching
sometimes you cant see it
but you can feel it.

Synecdoche

         All decked up or just an ordinary tree can brighten up a room. Furniture is positioned around the tree. You decorate it like there is no tomorrow. This becomes an event, it consumes your day and night. Light it up. Hang something on every last arm. Sometimes, the branches cannot even hold all the weight of the ornament. Fancy store bought or family-friendly, homemade ornaments are loved and admired by everyone.

        This tree can bond a family. It is a time of connection when a family picks this symbolic tree that best suits their house and family needs. When families are growing apart, this is what will call them back home. The dad will lift the smallest child of the family up on his shoulders with ease. A family treasure, the angle tree topper, in their gentle, caring hands. This will become a significant event to put this angle on top of the tree. This tree will hold surprises for the family. Children all around the world will become so grateful for what it gives. It will become hope for many people who need it most, and a time of giving for those that have plenty to give.

      This unmistakable smell will fill your house. There is no escaping this fresh and renewing scent, even candles are scented like this. Slowly, but surely, this scent will fade away though, along with the pleasure of this tree. Its life will be sucked away, and soon it will just be a memory. The memories of this tree will never die though, yet live on forever for years to come.  

Angry Letter

Dear Neighbors,

            It has come to my attention that you are extremely obscene and selfish. There have been multiple occasions when you have been unquestionably disrespectful to my family and me. I remember these certain occasions like they are the back of my hand. The first incident was about two winters ago during a brutal snow storm. The wind was howling, and the snow was blowing everywhere. A tree fell down, (which, I might add, happens all the time, it’s this thing called gravity) and it just happens that it fell on your fence. The fence that you put up because you did not want to see any happy children frolicking about my front yard. Your automatic response: let’s sue. No, how about you do not sue, that would be a tremendous idea! That was just ridiculous, but I’m not done yet. After that, another offense of you aggravating us was the summer of 2013. As we live on the golf course, ever since my parents bought our house, we have had a pathway to this golf course. It was late at night and my friends and I were going to go adventure on the golf course, and maybe play a little man hunt, like all children do. As the stereotypical elderly neighbors (except you aren’t elderly, just cranky), you are like a barricade on our street of fun. You yelled at us saying something like, That is our property! Get away from there! And when I say something like that I mean exactly that. That same summer, you went over the top with being obnoxious. There was a large group of teenagers hanging out in the field across from your house. It is called the common area, if you even care.  I guess you thought that they were being quite loud, (which they were not) and decided to call the cops. You called the cops. Seriously, you called the cops? Were they really disturbing you that much? Well, I guess so because you called the cops. I never got over that. After all of this trouble you caused us, you decided to let us have a break from your long reign of terror. Now let’s flash forward through a peaceful year or so. This was probably the happiest moment of your life! You were having a baby! WOOHOO! Well no, not woohoo. You know why? I am not woohooing because the next time you talked to us, or even looked at us, was to basically ask us for baby gifts. Really? After all this time of bickering and being snobby you expect us to grant you the privilege of having a gift from us? No, sorry it’s not happening. You should have seen this coming with your actions. You wished this upon yourself and should probably reevaluate yourselves. I wish good luck to that child. I hope you have a nice childhood.

Timed Prompt

        It was Christmas Eve. Fog stuck to the tarmac at Lindbergh Field. The seats were beginning to fill in with people who I assume are either going to see their families for Christmas, or trying to get away from them. In seat 6a,b, c, and 7c was a family of four. Two little children bundled up in a mountain of blankets, probably looking forward to getting their annual visit from Santa. In seat 14b was a business man glued to his phone, probably married to his work and not looking forward to seeing his family. In seat 19a was a young man coughing his lungs out, when he yelled, I have Ebola! Great, this again. Some foolish kid begging for attention. I have seen this millions of time, but I knew this could not be good. Lights began flashing simultaneously, babies began outbursts of crying, and mothers and fathers started to panic about the safety of them and their children. Men with hazmat suits filed into the center aisle of the plane and, one by one, escorted us out of the plane. This seemed uniform to them, as if they have done it a million times, but I could tell by the expressions on their faces, they were in a sense of panic. I, however, was quite calm during this whole fiasco. The contents of the plane was all shipped of to the nearby hospital. They said this was the written procedure for what must happen. Everyone had to go along with it, and we all wanted this to be over as soon as possible, so we cooperated. The person who "has Ebola" however, did everything but cooperate. He resisted getting off the plane, he resisted getting on the shuttle, he resisted getting off the shuttle, he resisted help. Everyone was given a thorough inspection from head to toe, in every crack and crevice. It was unsurprisingly uncomfortable and awkward. Next, came a thorough cleaning for all of us. If Ebola had been on that plane, they were going to be certain it stayed there. The results were back. Parents watching and worrying over their children, business men looking at their watches every two seconds hopping they won't be late for their next meeting, and teenagers just wishing they could be anywhere but here right now all looked up with optimistic faces, that they would be safe. The results: negative. The Ebola patient was an attendee from a close by mental institution who had escaped the place he called home, and we called a prison. He was sent back to where he came from and all of the people were given a free first class ticket on the next flight out of here. It was an interesting experience that I could now cross of my bucket list, but I was happy everyone was safe.

Short Fiction

Hailey is always acting like this. She is always taking my stuff. Ever since we could talk, she would pretend to be me to get what she wanted. Her strategy was flawless, use the puppy dog eyes and a pouty lip, even though that’s my thing. Now that we are older though, it is harder for her to pull off this scheme, but she always finds a way. This time thought, it just went too far.

    It was a Friday afternoon at school. As usual, everyone was dying to go home, but me, not so much. I heard rumors that this guy, Tim, was going to ask me out on a date. Tim was the kind of guy that every girl wanted to date and every guy wanted to be, and he wanted me! I was at my locker at the end of the day, like I always am, and he walked up to me. This was actually happening, it was actually happening. He planned for us to go to an extremely fancy dinner this Saturday. I was ecstatic!

    I was so ready. Saturday evening seemed light years away, but it was really only like a couple hours away. I was all ready and chilling on the couch, but then she came in the room. Hailey. I knew this wasn’t going to be good. You know this should be me! You know I have always liked Tim since the day we met! You can’t just take that away from me! UGH! You’re so selfish! She has to stop acting this way. I am not letting Hailey control my life anymore. Only I can control what happens in my life, I told Hailey this and, of course, she was enraged. Things could only go downhill from there and I knew from her face that I was standing on thin ice. I knew exactly what she was going to do. I was about ready to leave when she called me into our room. She needed “fashion advice” for who-knows-what because she never goes out anywhere. She had a plaid skirt on with a striped shirt. I honestly don’t know what she was thinking so I helped her out, like the nice sister I am. I dug through her closet to find something more acceptable when the door closed behind me and I heard a click.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

            I had to do it. She is so spoiled just because she was the youngest (by only 19 minutes I might add). She always gets what she wants it is so unfair. I do remember when I was younger, trying to take all of her stuff so she could know how it felt. Now that I am older though, I realized I was being selfish and should just be happy for what I have, but this just crossed the line. Never has she taken something from me, never has she been unfair to me! And don’t say Life in unfair, because I really do not want to hear it right now. I had to do something and I just panicked at the last minute. Kaleigh was basically rubbing it in that she was going on a date with Tim. I couldn’t take it anymore. Oh my god I can’t believe Tim asked me out! He actually asked me out! Sometimes it baffles me how inconsiderate she could be, but then again, I am also being inconsiderate by not thinking of Kaleigh’s feelings. Whatever. I had to do this

Now that Kaleigh isn’t getting to her date, I had a feeling I was going to regret what I was going to do. I went into Kaleigh’s and my room, and began looking through her dresser, of course not her closet because that’s where she was locked. I tried to remember what she was wearing, so you wouldn’t notice anything different. I thought it was a dark blue pair of jeans and maybe a navy blue shirt. Or was it black? I didn’t remember. I just decided to go with a white shirt. Then, I just had to act like her and that wasn’t hard, I just had to say stuff like Oh my gosh, no way girlfriend! and check my makeup every minute or so. I knew I could do it. I was going on a date with the one and only Tim.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I don’t check my makeup every minute, but whatever. She can think what she wants to. I knew exactly what she was going to do. She was going to dress up like me and go on my date. I was not letting that happen. Hailey thinks that if she doesn’t have something she can just take it from someone else, but not this time. I was going on that date and no one was going to stop me. I had to get out of that stupid, small closet, but the good thing is, I found that sweater I was looking for! So anyways, the first thing I did was try and open the door, but it was locked. I was going to knock down the door. I used all my strength and kicked the door with my left foot. It didn’t even budge. That was my time to shine, I had to take all of my anger out on this stupid door. I had to focus on the door, focus on the door. I hit it one more time, even harder, and it sort of moved, but not enough. I thought it was useless, it was literally useless, but I had tried again. That door was pissing me off and I could not even stand it anymore. I had to knock it down. I readied myself and took a step back, before I was stopped by all of the clothes, and then I kicked with my right foot and punched with both my hands. The door finally split down the middle. I tore it down with all my might and imagined it was my enemy, Rachel, ugh I hate that girl, but anyways, I was out and on my way to that restaurant.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When I was almost at the restaurant, my heart was pounding. I could feel the guilt building up in my chest. I knew there was no going back. I was there. I knew I had to do it. I was walking in the doors. I saw him. I saw the person I dreamed about being with for my entire life. At that point, Kaleigh had completely slipped my mind. We made eye contact and it was like sparks where flying. Then she walked in the room. Kaleigh. She was right behind me. She pinned me to a table holding my hands down and was stepping on my feet. There was nothing I could do. But I knew that was not the kind of spirit I should have at that moment. I slammed my knees into hers, forcing her to retreat back. I knew Kaleigh could not be stopped that easily though. She charged like a ram at me and practically would have tackled me to the ground, if it weren’t for Tim. He finally realized what was going on. He stepped in front of Kaleigh before she could reach me, so instead, she tackled Tim. She still found a way to flirt though, of course.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry Tim, but I never realized how pretty your eyes are! I said as I was getting up which isn’t flirting, I was complementing his eyes. But Hailey must have somehow known he would do that so I could make a fool of myself. She is so obnoxious. Now Tim was trying to but in, saying stuff like No don’t do this to your sister, she could join us if she wanted to. No Tim she cannot join, she is just selfish, jealous, and needs to know when to grow up! Then Hailey stormed out of the restaurant and grabbed a piece of cake on her way out. As I thought she was leaving, she turned around and threw it in my face. At that point, I was about as mad as when they canceled The Lying Game, so I picked up my phone and called you. That is why you should punish her mom, because she is a jealous, selfish, childish, and aggressive person.

 

A One Act Play

(The lights go up on Emily. She is just leaving a seminar at Yale and is failing to flag down a taxi.)

Emily: Wait! Please, wait!

(Emily enters the taxi.)

Emily: What? What are you doing here?

Sam: I am here for a job interview. It is so nice running into you like this!

Emily: No, no it's not. I’ll just walk home. (Emily opens the car door.)

Sam: No! No please, can we please talk?

Emily: I don’t know if I can-

Taxi driver: Let’s go here! Are you in or out lady?

Emily: Ok fine, but only until I get to my apartment, not a second later!

Sam: (nods) Ok, so we have a deal! So how have you been? I see you are going to Yale now, huh? It seems like I haven’t seen you in so long!

Emily: Yes, but I have a feeling this isn’t what you wanted to talk about.

Sam: Well, no, but-

Emily: (Pulls her face in her hands) No, no, no, no! I really don’t want to revisit this! It was so hard for me to see you with someone else. Do you realize that? I spent every night thinking what I could have done differently.

Sam: I know, I was stupid, but do you think you could just put the past behind you and move on?

Emily: Are you kidding? You say it like its easy! I can’t just forget everything you did to me and move on. I will always be afraid that you will treat me the same.

Sam: I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that. I just… do you think you could ever forgive me?

Emily: I don’t know. It’s just so hard for me to believe anything you say.

Sam: Please, I just want things to go back to the way they were.

Emily: I know but I don’t think anything you say ever sounds sincere.

Sam: I’m sorry. I just… I just get so nervous around you. You always seem so perfect, it’s like if I’m not perfect too, I’m not good enough for you.

Emily: (Blushing) I doubt you actually believe that.

Sam: No, I swear it’s true!

Emily: (Smirking with arms crossed) Then prove it!

Sam: (Starts scratching head) Um, well, you remember our first date like three years ago.

Emily: Yeah, of course I do. We went to the movies.

Sam: Well, you know how when I accidentally ran into a table, and at the end of the day I said I just did that to try and be funny?

Emily: Yeah, how could I forget! You practically flipped the table over!

Sam: Yeah, I wasn’t trying to be funny at all, I was just nervous, but I guess it was funny anyway!

Emily: Yeah, but how were you nervous? I was terrified! I literally felt like I was going to puke with all of those stupid butterflies in my stomach.

Sam: Really? You didn’t seem terrified at all.

Emily: Well when you weren’t looking, I totally ran into this little kid and he practically balled his eyes out. I felt so bad but I had to play it off cool.

Sam: No way!

Emily: Yeah…

Sam: (Looking straight into Emily's eyes) What’s wrong?

Emily: (Looks out window) Nothing, I just don’t think I can do this.

Sam: (Turns her head with his hands so she is looking right at him) Do what?

Emily: (Pushing his hand away) You know what I’m talking about. This. Us. Together. I can’t do it.

Sam: Can’t we work these things out?

Emily: I don’t think so, I don’t think I could ever trust you again. I thought we would always have each other’s backs, but one day you just disrespected me in a way that I could never forgive.

Sam: I understand that Emily, but that was a whole year ago and I still have feelings for you and I haven’t stopped thinking about how stupid I was and… I can’t stop thinking about you Emily.

Emily: I’m sorry but I can’t do this.

(Emily storms out of the car. Sam puts his head in his hands)

Sam: I blew it. Again.
(Taxi pulls away from the curb)
Emily: I blew it. Again.

Peer Review

Rachel Brunault- Sealed: A Short, Short Story: This piece blew me away. It gave me almost no information, but at the same time I knew everything about this man. It was very descriptive with many similes and lots of imagery, it was almost like I was living in this story. From the beginning, I was being pulled in, wanting to know what happens next.

Chris Casello- Waiting: This style-subject writing style was very effective to the mood of the story. At first I did not really know what the story was about, but when I was almost at the end, the plot was revealed and I really enjoyed it. This writing piece gave me a very nice perspective of life itself, and in the view of other people.

Nick Reynolds- Self Deprecation: This self deprecation story was very humorous. I found it funny how some people get so heated and mad about something I have never even played. The reaction seemed a bit over the top, but I should probably not say anything about over reacting because I over react a lot too.

Controlling: Unreliable Narrator

It was my first time using a dating website. We were going to meet at a restaurant downtown where I have never been. When I entered the building, I was disgusted. The lights were way to close to the tables, the flowers on the table were dead, and the spices on the table were not arranged in alphabetical order. I could already tell this date was not going to go well.

When he arrived I was freaking out. He looked like a slob! His shirt was not tucked in and his tie was way too long. I was about ready to get up and leave but I figured I might as well give this guy a chance. He was running out of chances though. His breath. Oh my god his breath made me want to puke. It was like the smell of a rotten egg sitting in the hot sun on a hot summer day. There were so many things that bothered me about him, but I’ll just continue on with how our date went. First we ordered, and he got a hamburger, which implies he is a messy and very casual person. I ordered chicken risotto, which implies that I am a very classy and sophisticated person. Then when he started eating, something automatically caught my attention, the sloppiness of his eating habits. It disgusts me, he had his elbows on the table, chewed with his mouth open, and barely even stopped in between bites to breath. After he finally finished eating, I told him all the things that annoyed me about him like I always tell my dates because I like being honest. For the first time ever, he didn’t leave right after I told him all this! Usually, after I be completely honest with my date they storm out like a child and never speak to me again. This one act of kindness completely changed my perspective of him. This could actually work if he just changed some of those obnoxious habits.

After our first date he started texting me. Hi, he said. Oh my gosh, no one has ever put in an effort to continue talking to me after we first meet. They usually say that I am obnoxious, or they just run away. After this moment I knew that it was true love, it was meant to be, it was destiny. I might as well go get my engagement ring now so I get exactly what I want. When he proposes, it will be so romantic! It will be on the beach in Florida while the sun is setting and he will get on one knee and say, will you marry me? Then I will say yes obviously, unless I don’t like his outfit, that would be a total deal breaker!

 

 

Lost: A Short Short Story (Test)

   

I woke up on a cold, hard, cement floor, my head rushing with thoughts from the night before, hurting so much I could barely think, no memory of what happened...except for my name, which must have something to do with the huge, throbbing wound on my head, it was covered with dry blood, I abandon my thoughts and focused on the creaking stairs, a shadow of a tall, skinny man approaching me made my heart rate speed up, I was scared, I was alone in an unfamiliar place, the shadow, a total facade of the real person, this mysterious man...short, fat and… his face… I have definitely seen his face before, I remember from last night, he said to me in a deep low voice, How’s your head? I did not expect this kind of response, him approaching me in the dark was now a vague memory, I thought he must have been a bad guy, he seemed overly concerned, I responded, Good, I guess, I sounded vulnerable, scared, and confused, I was all of these things, he explained to me how he found me, I was lying there, on the side of the road, unconscious, a trail of blood leading down my head, he took me here, cleaned my head, let me rest, my head started spinning with thoughts, what happened to me? who was this guy?  who would want to hurt me this way? why would they want to hurt me? what did I do to them? why didn’t he just call the police? and if he was trying to help me why would he leave me in this cold, moldy, basement? another thing, if this stranger cleaned my head, why was I still covered in blood! nowhere in my mind could I find an explanation, like any normal, curious person, I asked, what the heck happened to me? he already told me everything he knew, he sounded unsure, I didn’t believe him at all...something was happening... my memories were unfolding in my head, remembering what truly happened last night, like a movie playing out in my head with my memory, it began with me walking through a neighborhood at night, I was looking for something, or someone… I was looking for my phone after a party... I came across someone, maybe a jogger, with the same face as the mysterious man, we casually passed each other, I turned around, curious as to who he was, I saw a shovel swinging towards my head and, bang! I fell to the ground, still not understanding the motive, I thought, why? who was this person? then it came to me, he was on the news, wanted revenge against America, some weird thing I thought was fake and would never happen here, I abandon my thoughts, focused on the real world, I heard a noise coming from behind, it sounded like a gun being loaded, I turned around and saw...

   

Getting Under My Skin: Self- Deprecation

            My family, friends, and even strangers always find a way to get on my nerves. Somehow they all find a way to grind my gears. Anywhere from tapping their pencil repeatedly on a table, to kicking my seat on an airplane will allow you to annoy me to my breaking point. I personally think I am a generally calm person, but I get annoyed very easily. Even though I get annoyed easily, I tend to hold in my fury and, lucky for you, I won’t unleash my unbearable wrath. Some people might say I lose it in certain occasions, and that might sometimes be true, but I can guarantee you in this situation, I did not over react. I just find it preposterous how some people can be so inconsiderate.

            Anyways, it was just like any ordinary day this summer. I awoke to rays of sunshine coming in through the shades in my room. It was probably around eleven in the morning and, as usual, I went into my living room which usually smelled like eggs from the kitchen, even though I don’t like eggs, and I started watching TV. As I was watching TV, actually I was on my phone totally oblivious to the TV, but I remembered The Amazing Spiderman 2 came out on DVD. I was ecstatic, overjoyed, and thrilled all at the same time! Those words don’t even express how excited I was. I loved that movie and was a devoted fan, also Andrew Garfield is easy on the eyes. Of course, I very kindly asked my mom to get it. I was almost certain she would say yes because before it came out she said I could get it, but I went with the safe approach just in case she was in a bad mood. I said something like, mother darling, would you be oh so kind and allow me to get The Amazing Spiderman on DVD? with a big smile on my face and even used the classic puppy dog eyes. To my dismay, she used they inevitable, typical mom remark like, maybe next week, wait until Christmas, or worst of all, didn’t you already see it in the movie theaters? This response was like nails on a chalkboard to me. The last response was echoing in my head like it was taunting me, didn’t you just see it in the movie theatres? It drove me up a wall when she said this because you cannot only see a movie once to experience the irrepressible hunk of emotions and vibes. You cannot simultaneously be balling your eyes out and watch the movie! Also, even if you don’t cry during movies, it is almost impossible to avoid a vulnerable, hormonal teenage girl at the movies so you are bound to miss at least one scene. The chances of this not happening to you are as likely as you being struck by lightning.

            Consequently, as a result of this tragic and depressing moment, I was, in lighter terms, down in the dumps. This horrific situation made me so irritated because my mother did not see this as a big deal! This flabbergasted me because how could you not see this as a big deal? I practically memorized the first movie, and no, I’m not a lunatic, but it would only be fair to memorize the second movie too, right? Well, my mom made the intellectual conclusion that I didn’t need the second movie on DVD and that was final. My feeble attempt to convince her to buy it for me was to sit on the kitchen floor for as long as physically possible. This had no effect on my mom what so ever. I was agitated to the point that I wanted to strangle everyone I saw. In the end, however, I was triumph it. I had the brilliant idea of just asking my dad!

            Additionally, it is unmistakable that I can get annoyed very easily by the little things, like when people leave empty food boxes in the pantry. Is it really that big of a burden to throw it in the trash or recycle? Although that irritates me a lot, I found it horrifying to learn that I can actually annoy myself. I get irked when I procrastinate, I practically procrastinate twenty four seven. How much I put off my work is pathetic. The inner fight I have against myself about procrastinating was like World War II happening in my head. In fact, I am procrastinating writing and revising this essay right at this very moment! Wow, shocker! The dilly-dallying began with TV, as usual. I began with watching Twelve Years a Slave. Since this movie was so depressing, I wanted to make sure I did not spew my emotions into my work. Then I heard a growling coming from my stomach that was screaming at me, I need food. I could not conceal the fact that I was extremely hungry anymore and I needed a snack. So I got a snack fit for a king which, obviously, took a significant amount of time to eat. But wait, now I need music to get my creative juices flowing so I got my headphone and phone. Finally, I was out of lame excuses to not write my story. It was time to sit down and conquer this writing assignment, but then I thought it would just be more efficient to finish it tomorrow.

 

RAFT Story

 

            I wake up in the morning looking forward to only one thing. I get out of bed, grab a piece of bread, and walk over to the cage. In this cage, lives my only real friends. The only people who accept me for who I am. They don’t even have legs, but wings and beaks. My pets will always be there for me, even if I’m not there for them because I’m at my job. Work, on the other hand is something I most definitely do not enjoy. I enjoy work just as much as a fish enjoys being out of water. I spend my day serving battered and fried food to people who either don’t know how bad it is for you, or are extremely overweight and certainly don’t care. I have worked here for over fifty years and have not had a day where I actually enjoyed it. I have always regretted working here because people stereotype me and just assume that I’m extremely stupid, was a high school dropout, and I get awful pay. Only one of those things is true though; I get an awful pay. Ever since I started working here my pay has always become significantly smaller each week. Also, the only food I can afford is from where I work because I get a discount, but it is very unhealthy and made me gain thirty pounds just this summer. Speaking of gaining weight, the manager of the store is unquestionably hefty! He has always made my job miserable. He makes me mop the floors at night, even though that’s not my job, work extra shifts, and clean the toilets which is the worst job of all. I am practically his slave. Ever since I started working here, he has made every single day agonizing, and nothing I can do can change that because he is the manager of the store. Going to work every day feels like I’m in a prison, and if I didn’t need the money so bad, I would have quit a long time ago.