Angry Letter

Dear Neighbors,

            It has come to my attention that you are extremely obscene and selfish. There have been multiple occasions when you have been unquestionably disrespectful to my family and me. I remember these certain occasions like they are the back of my hand. The first incident was about two winters ago during a brutal snow storm. The wind was howling, and the snow was blowing everywhere. A tree fell down, (which, I might add, happens all the time, it’s this thing called gravity) and it just happens that it fell on your fence. The fence that you put up because you did not want to see any happy children frolicking about my front yard. Your automatic response: let’s sue. No, how about you do not sue, that would be a tremendous idea! That was just ridiculous, but I’m not done yet. After that, another offense of you aggravating us was the summer of 2013. As we live on the golf course, ever since my parents bought our house, we have had a pathway to this golf course. It was late at night and my friends and I were going to go adventure on the golf course, and maybe play a little man hunt, like all children do. As the stereotypical elderly neighbors (except you aren’t elderly, just cranky), you are like a barricade on our street of fun. You yelled at us saying something like, That is our property! Get away from there! And when I say something like that I mean exactly that. That same summer, you went over the top with being obnoxious. There was a large group of teenagers hanging out in the field across from your house. It is called the common area, if you even care.  I guess you thought that they were being quite loud, (which they were not) and decided to call the cops. You called the cops. Seriously, you called the cops? Were they really disturbing you that much? Well, I guess so because you called the cops. I never got over that. After all of this trouble you caused us, you decided to let us have a break from your long reign of terror. Now let’s flash forward through a peaceful year or so. This was probably the happiest moment of your life! You were having a baby! WOOHOO! Well no, not woohoo. You know why? I am not woohooing because the next time you talked to us, or even looked at us, was to basically ask us for baby gifts. Really? After all this time of bickering and being snobby you expect us to grant you the privilege of having a gift from us? No, sorry it’s not happening. You should have seen this coming with your actions. You wished this upon yourself and should probably reevaluate yourselves. I wish good luck to that child. I hope you have a nice childhood.