Thursday, January 15, 2015

Modest Proposal

The Land of the Free. Free from all, but not judgement. Home of the Brave. The brave are getting bigger and bigger. Our Lady Liberty is growing wider and wider. Our houses and clothes are getting bigger and bigger. The populations of the United States has become extremely lazy. If you do not have to do something, why should you have to? The amount of obese people is rapidly increasing and we need to stop this. If this continues, we will end up like the people on Wall-E. Fat and helpless. It is made apparent by Michelle Obama that we need to find a way to fix this problem. She has gone from holding conventions, to banning chocolate milk. Everyone has become aware of this problem. They try to fix the problem at the source: the food. The only problem is the food companies are too arrogant to see what is wrong with all of their products. The food companies are responsible for deaths year round. Death by chocolate. But what they do not know is that the food is not the problem. The problem is the people who can not control the lifestyles they have become accustomed to. By working together, we can fix this. The USA, land of the obese, home of the overweight.
32% of the United States population that is obese and that number is increasing rapidly. This is merely choice. People do not practice a healthy behaviors, these behaviors and habits are then passed down onto their children and grandchildren. 61% of overweight 5-10 year olds are at a risk for heart disease. This is affecting the economics in our country and in typical households. Hospital bills, medical pills, and food bills are piling up on average Americans. Obesity can also increase the risk of cancer and strokes. Children who are obese will suffer from problems at school. Self esteem and confidence issues will start to brew inside them and will never stop. Obesity can not only be seen physically, but also mentally. If don’t help them soon, there will be no stopping them from continuing their ways.
Now, I propose my solution. Citizens who are obese need to be helped. They can not stop their ways on their own. The food they eat has become like a drug, they are practically unstoppable. We will feed them the motivation to fix their problem. The proper balance of dieting and exercising can fix their problem, but they do not have the willpower to do that on their own. If we gather all the obese citizens in a helpful camp, one for each region of our country, we can help them. We will recreate their lifestyle. Everyday, each person that needs help with weight, will receive one apple. In that apple is a special chemical to literally burn the fat off of their bodies. They will be allowed to eat only this apple. After a long period of time, all of the fat will burn off of the bodies, leaving perfectly formed citizens.
As a result of this newly formed diet, we can make use of the new abundance of food feeding it to the homeless. There will no longer be children dying of hunger. In the end, the government and families benefiting from this program will form a new income of money due to the lack of medical and food bills. This will improve our country’s image and economy. With this benefit, there may seem like there has to be a downside, but there is not. This apple will provide all necessary nutritional value. It also may seem like the people being helped are not being fed enough and will starve, but that is so false. The need for food they have created in their past life will be destroyed by the motivation to get out of this facility.
If the government creates this program, the economy will improve greatly and the rate of death by hunger will decrease. The proper balance of diet and exercise would take too much effort, motivation, and time. No one would be able to control themselves around food. This program will create a fast way for obese people to lose weight, improve their health, and simply live a better life.  

Monday, December 22, 2014

Fan Fiction

From being continuously annoyed by his neighbors, this cephalopod was put in an inescapable bad mood. Running around Squidward’s front yard all day, caused Squidward to become irritated to the point where he could no longer stand the sound of anyone's voice.
“Would you infernal brains just SHUT UP,” complained Squidward.
Day after day, all Squidward wanted was to live far, far away from Spongebob and Patrick. He wishes to live fancily and to be able to peacefully work on his art and music. Unfortunately, that is not possible with Spongebob and Patrick around.
“Hahahahaha,” echoed Spongebob and Patrick.
Miffed and peeved, Squidward stormed outside to show his disrespectful neighbors a piece of his mind. Knowing how immature Patrick and Spongebob are, Squidward knew it would never work, but he always tried hoping one day it would finally work.
After marching outside, Squidward admitted, “being dead, or anything else, would be better than having to listen to you two all day.”
“Sorry Squidward, we were just playing around,” explained Spongebob.
‘“Can I have everybody’s attention… I have to use the bathroom,” babbled Patrick.
An irritable cephalopod is not a happy cephalopod. After a long argument, or just Squidward yelling and then Spongebob and Patrick not comprehending his anger, nothing was resolved. Squidward angrily stormed back inside only to find a old looking lamp. He was shocked to find such beautiful artwork in his house. The water began to swirl. Everything around him was lifting into the water. Everything went black.
Confused and scared, Squidward gained consciousness. He was not sure how much time has passed, or where he was. After opening his eyes, Squidward realized he was in a pineapple. Who is the only person he knows near him to live in a pineapple? Spongebob. Just the thought of being in the dwelling of this fiend made Squidward want to puke. His immediate reaction: Get up and get out.
Squidward heard someone behind him with a high pitched squeaky voice giggle.“hey Squiddy!” Terrified that he might see porous Spongebob, Squidward turned his head to only see another cephalopod. He might as well have been looking in a mirror, but he wasn't looking in a mirror, he was looking at himself. He was looking at his own body. He looked down. He saw a square and yellow body. Squidward and Spongebob had switched bodies.
“AHHHH,” roared Squidward as he raced outside.
“This is so exciting! Me and Squidward switched bodies,” explained Spongebob to Patrick
“You’re in Squidward’s body? No wonder you smell bad,” claimed Patrick.
“This is the worst day of my life,” revealed Squidward.
“ Cheer up, Squidward! It could be worse!”
“Ya, you could be bald or have a big nose,” explained Patrick
“Don’t you have somewhere else to be stupid Patrick,” asked Squidward.
“Not until four,” answered Patrick.
Contemplating what to do, Squidward basically had a panic attack. If he could not stand being around his neighbors, how could he be inside his body? They needed to come up with a way for them to switch back. Why did this happen? How could the switch back? Squidward needed to be switched back so he could be ready for his clarinet recital at eight. It was currently four. They had four hours to switch back. Squidward thought that if they were fighting when the switch happened, they needed to learn to cope with their differences and learn to respect each other to switch back.   
“I find it really disrespectful when you ruin my yard, when you both have your own yards to ruin,” admitted Squidward.
“I love playing in your yard though, its like the gateway to your soul,” replied Spongebob.
“You’re already in my body, what other gateway to my soul do you need,” asked Squidward, “ok are we switched back yet?”
“Maybe we need to get to know each other better,” suggested Spongebob, “I love working at the krusty krab and i am a master at kara-tay,” said Spongebob as he did a karate chop.
“I like when you don’t bother me,” barked Squidward, “this is not working.”
“We’re not doing so well, Patrick. We need a new approach, a new tactic,” advised Spongebob.
“Umm, I got it. Let’s get naked,” suggested Patrick.

Sunday, December 14, 2014

Humor and Satire

Just your presence,
I can not bare.
When I see your face,
it sets off a flare.
You make me want to
throw myself down a flight of stairs.

Oh, I don’t understand
why you don’t care.
It’s like your brain cells,
which are oh so rare,
don’t know a thing.
They are so unaware.

And I know you might ask,
but no, we are not pears.
So have a nice life,
and take care.

Friday, December 5, 2014

List Poem

Don't be like everyone else,
be original.
Everyone has the same clothes, the same style,
but you can be different.
When they tell you to be yourself,
they don't mean it.
Friends make you feel good about yourself,
they build you up.
Those who want to change you,
aren't your friends.
Those who don't want you for you,
aren't your friends.
Those who build up your confidence,
just to tear it down again,
aren't your friends.
They aren't your friends.

Thursday, November 20, 2014

Questionable Motive Poem

A guitar and the strings                              So listen to my plea                                  
making music as one                                  this isn't a decoy
for nothing but joy                                      the song has just begun
all you have to do is follow me                  we could do incredible things



Our hearts will sing                                    A guitar and the strings
it’s so much fun                                          making music as one
making music with you, boy                      for nothing but joy
it’s like I’ve been set free                           all you have to do is follow me.

Wednesday, November 19, 2014

Stanza

Clear, blue water
or a deep dark mystery;
smooth,
or a terrifying storm.
It consumes you,
it keeps you going,
but it is you.
You are trapped,
you trapped yourself.

Tuesday, November 18, 2014

Poem


Poem 1:
The sun will set on a perfect day,
You know it’s coming.
Sometimes you’ll know when,
Or not.
You make this an event,
The setting of the sun.
You go watch this with your friends and
Family
As the sun lowers itself over the horizon
Yet, the sun never leaves
Its warmth is always present
Its light is reflecting off of the moon
It’s always watching, sometimes
You just can’t see it.

Metacognitive Evaluation: The poem has a good universal meaning and lots of potential. Although there is a good universal meaning, there are not many obvious connections to the real meaning. I need to make more connections and make the universal idea more apparent.

Poem 2:
The sun will set on a perfect day,
You know the day will always end.
Sometimes though, it happens so suddenly.
We make a big deal of this.
Having an event for the setting of the sun
Creates sorrow and misery
The departing of us from the sun
You attend this with friends, family, and strangers.
The sun is lowered down into the horizon
Yet the sun never truly dies
Its warmth is always present,
Its wisdom reflecting off the moon.
Its always watching,
Sometimes, you just cant see it
But you can feel it

Metacognitive Evaluation: The poem has a good universal evaluation and it is portrayed well. The language and diction is weak. The poem also seems very sentencey and I should think about punctuation and stanzas.  

Poem 3:

The sun will descend on what may be a perfect day
but you know the day must always end
sometimes its sudden
we make a big deal
creating scenes of sorrow and grief
the departing of the sun from us
is attended with family friends and strangers
the sun is lowered down into the horizon
but the sun never truly dies
its warmth is always present
its wisdom reflecting off the moon
always watching
sometimes you cant see it
but you can feel it.