Questionable Motive Poem

A guitar and the strings                              So listen to my plea                                  

making music as one                                  this isn't a decoy

for nothing but joy                                      the song has just begun

all you have to do is follow me                  we could do incredible things

Our hearts will sing                                    A guitar and the strings

it’s so much fun                                          making music as one

making music with you, boy                      for nothing but joy

it’s like I’ve been set free                           all you have to do is follow me.

Stanza

Clear, blue water
or a deep dark mystery;
smooth,
or a terrifying storm.
It consumes you,
it keeps you going,
but it is you.
You are trapped,
you trapped yourself.

Poem

Poem 1:

The sun will set on a perfect day,
You know it’s coming.
Sometimes you’ll know when,
Or not.
You make this an event,
The setting of the sun.
You go watch this with your friends and
Family
As the sun lowers itself over the horizon
Yet, the sun never leaves
Its warmth is always present
Its light is reflecting off of the moon
It’s always watching, sometimes
You just can’t see it.

Metacognitive Evaluation: The poem has a good universal meaning and lots of potential. Although there is a good universal meaning, there are not many obvious connections to the real meaning. I need to make more connections and make the universal idea more apparent.

Poem 2:

The sun will set on a perfect day,
You know the day will always end.
Sometimes though, it happens so suddenly.
We make a big deal of this.
Having an event for the setting of the sun
Creates sorrow and misery
The departing of us from the sun
You attend this with friends, family, and strangers.
The sun is lowered down into the horizon
Yet the sun never truly dies
Its warmth is always present,
Its wisdom reflecting off the moon.
Its always watching,
Sometimes, you just cant see it
But you can feel it

Metacognitive Evaluation: The poem has a good universal evaluation and it is portrayed well. The language and diction is weak. The poem also seems very sentencey and I should think about punctuation and stanzas.  

Poem 3:

The sun will descend on what may be a perfect day

but you know the day must always end
sometimes its sudden
we make a big deal
creating scenes of sorrow and grief
the departing of the sun from us
is attended with family friends and strangers
the sun is lowered down into the horizon
but the sun never truly dies
its warmth is always present
its wisdom reflecting off the moon
always watching
sometimes you cant see it
but you can feel it.